Chasing the “Unavailable”

There once was a girl that found herself in a relationship unlike any other that she had ever experienced.  Connections were met on all four levels-intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical.  You see, she had learned early to be tough and did not display her feelings easily.  During those several years together with him, she found herself exhibiting, what she learned later was, codependency-that semblance of control, as the relationship seemed to be slipping away.  She also exhibited increased anxiety and tears.

After the relationship ended, inside feelings of abandonment evolved, although at that time, that word was not familiar to her own situation.  She had never connected abandonment to feelings from her own family of origin.  She experienced physical pain in her body and reached out to a doctor as well as began her own therapy journey.  She learned that “Chasing the Unavailable” began in her family of origin with a parental figure.  The early feelings of “being left” emotionally and physically began as a child.

She learned to pay attention to her feelings and that she deserved more.  She needed that therapy to set the much-needed boundaries for when he tried to return.  It took 3 years for the pain to subside, as she had loved him like no other.  As she journeyed more into herself, her energy shifted, she learned about going after the “unavailable” people and she realized that he was actually given the ultimate gift from her – HERSELF, but he did not know what to do with it!

In return, and again it took years to realize this, that when she was given that “box full of darkness,” what a “gift” it turned out to be!