“If Someone Can’t Give Time, Give a Gift”


“If Someone Can’t Give Time, Give a Gift”

I heard this recently and began thinking today, as it gets closer to the Christmas holiday, of the above statement, “If someone can’t give time, give a gift.”  The gift could be money, etc. anything except their presence.  What does this mean from a child’s perspective, through their eyes, their heart?

Could this be their introduction to abandonment?  Abandonment means, “to leave completely, desert, withdraw from.”

Imagine this child’s story.   Picture a two-parent household.  One works traditional hours, the other traditional hours as well, plus other “jobs” that keep them away, giving time externally to others.  One thought as the child gets older might be, “You’re supposed to make time for what’s important, I’m not important.”  The young person begins to date and unknowingly, they look for someone like the absentee parent who abandoned them emotionally and physically.  With no therapy intervention, they will most likely marry them.   They are drawn to the familiar.  They will not know any better until the relationship ends.  If they get into therapy, they will learn more about themselves, their self-esteem will increase, and they will begin to understand why they chose the way that they did.  If not, they will continue the cycle throughout other generations.

This time of year, it is important to remember to give time to those you love, but also more importantly, remember this throughout the year as well.  

We make time for what’s important.  “Time is more valuable than money!”

Sometimes through the mess, we find out who we really are.  Remember, we are valuable!