The definition of Self-esteem is: “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.”

Where do we learn about ourselves and how do healthy or unhealthy thoughts about ourselves begin?  Anyone who knows me knows I will say, “From our family of origin!”

A few examples of low self-esteem:

Increased anxiety

Increased depression
Comparing self to others


Fear of failing

Sometimes also, an increased fear of being alone

A few examples of high self-esteem:

Decreased anxiety when leaving “comfort” box

Self-care – knowing that it is okay to say, “No,” which is by the way, “the ultimate self-care!”
Accept the positives and challenges of ones’ self, accepting that we are a “Work in progress!”

Understanding that by changing your thoughts, you will change your mood, behavior and how you physically feel.

If your primary care-givers, one or both, did not exhibit high self-esteem, all is not lost!  You can learn to increase your self-esteem with the above examples as a start, along with therapy.

When your self-esteem is high, vulnerability is usually low.  You value your own beliefs and are not vulnerable to needing or seeking others’ guidance above your own.

When vulnerability is high, self-esteem is usually low.  You can be vulnerable and look too much to others for guidance.  What is it they say about too many opinions!

Again, when self-esteem is high, we want to conquer the world, when low, we want to hide. 

Let’s re-record the “tapes” we play in our head from our family of origin.  Focus inward in 2018!